Life’s Bumps & Lumps Journal

For our family & friends:  

Read My Cancer Updates for a schedule of appointments and such!

Below, you will find my cancer journey through my blogging efforts.  They are in descending order from November of 2014 to the latest post.  The Life’s Bumps & Lumps Journal page of this blog “is about how I choose to process it: with laughter, tears, overwhelmedness (Is that even a word?), good days, bad days, and lots & lots of loved days!


My Diagnosis Day:  It’s been 7+D days (Nov. 26th) since the doctors said that what they saw was ‘worrisome’.  It’s been D+14 days (Dec. 3rd) since I found out that I have breast cancer.  (continue here)


My 1st Chemo Day:  YOU HEAR ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME…  Such and Such is going through chemo… (continue here)


My 1st Christmas Day:  It’s been a world wind of activity since my diagnosis, but the one thing I so very desperately wanted was for my family to have a good Christmas Day… (continue here)


My 2nd Chemo Day:  It is so very hard to admit this, but I didn’t want to go in and get my second treatment…  I had gone from feeling Yuck-O to Great-O in those two weeks.  (continue here)


One of THOSE Days:  Ever heard of that book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day?  (continue here)


My 3rd Chemo Day:  Being forewarned that THIS batch of the Red Devil would be the one that would make EVERYTHING even more than I had already experienced…  (continue here)


My Perspective and the Decision-Making Process:  I recently read an article by a blogger whom I enjoy perusing from time to time.. and I must say that I respect her, as a person… (continue here)


My 4th Chemo Day:  I was out of it after 30 minutes.  Seriously.  I couldn’t make the effort to stay awake.  I earnestly tried to stay awake as Football Fan entertained me… (continue here)


Those Quiet Moments:  It is in the quiet moments that you see yourself for what you are.  I’ve had a lot of quiet moments lately despite my misguided attempts to fill those moments… (continue here)


iforget:  I should probably just leave this post blank because that’s just about how my brain is: (continue here)


Broken Bits and Pieces:  The other day, I was listening to someone talk about some pottery they had seen at the local hardware store. “It was beautiful,”  (continue here)


Licking The Walls:  You’ve heard of the idiom “Climbing the walls”?  According to the Cambridge Dictionary website, the phrase means: (continue here)


Being ‘All-Thumbs’ and Big Toes:  One of my most precious memories of my maternal grandparents is watching how my Poppy would so carefully try to manage his big man-hands… (continue here


Reminiscing…:  Today is a good day.  In fact, today is a great day, physically, that is…  I haven’t been able to have chemo, and therefore steroids, for the last 2 weeks.  (continue here)


Dried Noodle:  I kept telling people that I felt like a wet noodle.  I even told my friend Beautiful that I felt like a deflated wet noodle.  (continue here)


Flavored Flushees:  Okay, when you think of 7-Eleven, what do you think?  No, not the hot dogs on the spinners while you ponder how long they have really been there going ’round and ’round… (continue here)


A Crying Emotional Mess:  On Monday I found out that I am done being chemo’d.  As I sat in the doctor’s office and explained the fierce resurgence of burning pain in my extremities, they asked me… (continue here)


A Month of Living:  The month of May is my month to live as ‘normally’ as I possibly can.  After 5 1/2 months of appointment after appointment after appointment… (continue here)


It’s Been A Week:  Punctuation and capitalization matter.  It has been a week.  It’s been a week!  It’s been a week?  IT’S BEEN A WEEK…  IT’S. BEEN. A. WEEK!  iT’s bEEn a wEeK.!? (continue here)


I Need A Bigger Bag:  Ever heard the saying, “I’ve got everything in here except for the kitchen sink!‘?  Well, Tuesday at my doctor’s appointment… (continue here)


Rubber Duckies Are So Foul:  My constant companion for the last 23 days has been J.P. Drain, otherwise know as the Jackson-Pratt drain.  (continue here)


Tales Of A Plumbee (What or Who The Plumber Plumbs):  It sounds messed up to say that, up until the month of June, everything has proceeded fairly normal with this thing called cancer.  (continue here)


There’s Always A Learning Curve:  I live by the motto that “You can learn something new every day.“  I apply that to my marriage of almost 20 years with Football Fan, to my ever changing emotional daughter… (continue here)


I Am Not Rudderless:  It’s a calendar at the cancer center that I frequent, often…  I had to chuckle at the list of things that “Require Balance,” but it was the quote at the bottom that caused me to stop and think. (continue here)


Stubb:  I am 6 weeks post-op from my modified radical left breast mastectomy.  Tomorrow, I must go back in for outpatient surgery to have my incision opened up and the “Stubb” drained. (continue here)


I Am Such A Pill:  I have acquired a new relationship.  It is truly a love/hate relationship.  Tamoxifen is its name and blocking “the actions of estrogen, a female hormone” is its game… (continue here)


Broken Trust:  Recently someone was asking the “typical” questions about my cancer experience.  As I sat there listening and answering each question, I took the opportunity to state… (continue here)


Battle Weary:  “As I was sitting on the side of my bed watching a video that came across my social media feed, Princess Pink wandered into my room and came to stand lean… (continue here)


Danger, Will Robinson.  Danger!:  I may have to have a “Danger” sign tattooed to my forehead to forewarn people of their encounters with me.  Going on Tamoxifen will do that to a girl…  (continue here)


Finding Hope At A Funeral:  I went to a funeral today…  I’ve been to too-many-to-count funerals in my lifetime… (continue here)


X Marks The Spot:  On the 10th of this month I had the privilege?  opportunity?  distinct pleasure?  Ugh, I endured the “radiation simulation” (RS) to set me up for my upcoming radiation treatments.  (continue here)


I’m Thrilled.  Can’t You Tell?:  Went to see the doctor on Tuesday…  I’m thrilled.  Can’t you tell?  My expander implant, designed to “hold” the space for my breast reconstruction after all my “immediate” (radiation) cancer treatments are finished… (continue here)


The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly:  Words fail me right now.  It is all emotion that courses through me even though feel lacking in emotions.  This week has been tough…  It isn’t just this week though; it’s a build-up of a LOT of tough weeks.  (continue here)


Lessons Of Humility:  People hearing you have cancer.  Going on medical leave from your job.  Seeing more of your doctors than your family.  The endless appointments.  Chemotherapy.  The side effects of chemotherapy.  (continue here)


Blessings Of Grace:  There we sat, she and I, waiting for our scans.  We didn’t know each other.  As I sat there, trying to find a distraction from The Spiew, uh sorry, The View that was playing on the waiting room television… (continue here)


The Bitter Bite Of Bitterness:  I’m sitting here on the floor… TIRED.  Since this 3rd surgery, which went well, I have been fighting the fatigue of the Tamoxifen mostly, but all in all, the fatigue of fighting cancer.  (continue here)


You Sunk My Battleship! (Radiation: Week 1):  Day 1:  The technicians told me that they were going to write on me and by the time they were ALL finished, my body would look like a road map.  I told them that it would be a very bumpy road…  (continue here)


3:15 PM (Radiation: Week 2):  Day 5:  I’m sitting here staring at the clock waiting for the necessary time (2:50 pm) to arrive so that I can leave to meet my 3:15 pm appointment time.  (continue here)


Failing:  What you believe determines what you choose, right?  I fell apart the other morning.  It most definitely was NOT a pretty sight.  In all these months of fighting cancer, I have never ask God the proverbial “Why?” question.  (continue here)


Melting Marbles (Radiation: Week 3):  Day 10:  Football Fan and I spent the morning at the hospital with the family of some of our congregation members.  To watch a spouse of 57 years process the eventual home going…  (continue here)


Half-Baked (Radiation: Week 4):  Day 15:  Camo Kid and Princess Pink got to watch their Momma get toasted today.  They were able to get a private tour of the radiation room, equipment, and a real-life-viewing of the machine..  (continue here)


Station Identification (Radiation: Week 5):  Day 20:  I got to see my sister and brother-in-law today!    I got to see my sister and brother-in-law today!  I got to see my sister and brother-in-law today!  (continue here)


Feel The Burn (Radiation: Week 6):  Day 25:  I am now in the single digit countdown.  Before radiation today there were 9 treatments to go.  I now have 8 treatments left…  (continue here)


Fried Noodle (Radiation: Week 7):  Day 30:  I just spent the last 2 days hiding out for a multitude of reasons.  TIRED (ME: the second cousin to Sleepy) joined GRUMPY (ME) on SNOW WHITE’S (ME) adventure… (continue here)


The Look Of Cancer:  (continue here)


No Port To Call My Own:  There I was, lying on the same surgical bed where I had my 2 biopsies performed back in December of 2014, where I had one of my fluid removal sessions back in July (or was that June?)(continue here)


Traveling Companions:  It was just a year ago that my journey on the road of cancer started.  It was just a year ago, I went to see my family doctor for the two lumps that I had found. (continue here)


Finding Focus:  Recently I had to upgrade my 4 eye status to 6 eyes.  It had been coming for a while, but the combination of being 42 years old and having chemotherapy combined with breaking my previous pair of glasses… (continue here)


The War Within:  It has been 2 months since the last of all my breast cancer treatments.  In that time, my body took 2 full weeks to heal all the radiation burns. (continue here)


Fears And Tears:  It’s been 3 weeks since my last post and I wonder how to attempt to put into words the condition of my heart these last few weeks… (continue here)


Transitioning Through Transition:  Did you ever stop to ponder the fact that your entire life is spent transitioning?  You transition from nothing to conception… (continue here)


Don’t Ever:  There are two very important pieces of advice that I have been given that I intend to follow till the day I die:  Don’t ever drink alcohol.  Don’t ever play poker.  (continue here)


11:40 AM:  My day today (February 29:  Happy Leap Year 2016!  It feels like April’s Fool Day instead…) started with a long list of stuff to do in order to be ready for my scheduled surgery on March 1.  (continue here)


A Symmetrical View:  There’s just one small space, one click of the space bar, between having a symmetrical view and having an asymmetrical view of whatever it is you are looking at or going through.  (continue here)


A-O-KAY:  I’m sitting here in my little nest of pillows and all things soft attempting to focus on the immediate, the high priority needs.  The last 6 days are not a blur.  (continue here)


Y-OW-ZERS!:  Jackson-Pratt the Drain and I have ended our friendship.  I didn’t need his kind of drama in my life…  He, however, was very much attached to me.  (continue here)


Why:  There is no answer to the ‘Why?’ of my cancer journey.  Well, there is, but it would not satisfy the centuries’ old question of ‘Why did this happen to me?’…  (continue here


Welcome to every day for the rest of this life!:  Why would you want to compare yourself to a cancer patient?  Let me give you a run down of what I am living with at this point in time:  (continue here)


A Funny Tasting Chemo Morsel…:  Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?  Because they taste funny…  (continue here)


Whelmed, Over and Over Again:  It has been 29 days since we learned that my previously achieved NED status (No Evidence of Disease) has been permanently revoked.  (continue here)


The Mentality of Reality:  I’m aware that I’m here, but where is HERE exactly? Because right now, it is as dark as dark can be and it is consuming me with a panic that I have never known before…  (continue here)


FOMO:  I’m currently living in Cliche Land.  It really does feel like such a drag and it doesn’t help that it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  I do think by now we’re all “aware” of breast cancer but do you know…  (continue here)


And Life Goes On!:  It’s been awhile since I posted…  Honestly, trying to find the time and the energy to concentrate on anything outside of the essentials of life takes effort with a capital…  (continue here)


Out Of Touch With Reality:  Yes, I am.  I am out of touch with reality.  With your reality, that is…  My reality is on a tremendous learning curve right now.  (continue here)

 

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