Non-Celebrity Endorsed PSA

Just an average Josie-Shmosie here with no money to make and an unrecognizable face…

Twenty-two months ago I found 2 lumps while doing a routine breast self exam. This led me down a road that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. After a course of 3 different kinds of chemotherapy (with one affectionately dubbed the ‘Red Devil’), genetic testing, a modified radical mastectomy, the bodily rejection of a breast reconstruction expander, and 30 treatments of radiation, I thought I was on my way to entering the ‘rat race’ of life again!

Little did I know that insurance red tape would allow me to receive another mastectomy instead of a breast reduction and put me on the path of a colonoscopy because of a genetic mutation for colon cancer found during my genetic testing.

Colonoscopies are not pleasant to think about. To be the patient of a colonoscopy is probably about as much fun as being the administering doctor of a colonoscopy… I was especially blessed to receive a double procedure this week! Not only did a camera enter my bum-de-bum (that would be the place where the sun doesn’t shine), but a camera also entered my yapper (that would be my mouth – the sun shines there). Truly, the colonoscopy and endoscopy were nothing to write home about. The preparation for the procedure, well, let’s just say that hungry, cranky, and angry make a person cranktoriously hangry and very tired. Don’t plan on going ANYWHERE during the prep cycle…


The end results… sorry couldn’t resist… are knowledge!

Because when the doctor tells you that he removed a 2 centimeter polyp and will send it away for testing. That’s a good thing! And when the same doctor, who told you the results would be back in 1 to 2 weeks, calls you the very next day and tells you that the polyp they removed was precancerous. That’s a good thing! And when the same doctor tells that you will be cranktoriously hangry again in 6 months for another bum-de-bum close-up and then again every 2 years for the rest of your life.  That is a good thing!

Because being able to proactively have a chance to fight colorectal cancer is a good thing!


I would have never had the colonoscopy if it hadn’t been for the genetic mutation found during the genetic testing for my breast cancer that I found through a self exam.

So the moral of this story is:

Do your monthly breast self exams!

Talk with your doctor about your family history.

Genetic testing can be a good thing!

Mammograms are not the devil’s brother or sister.

Colonoscopies can make a HUGE difference in the end (uh, sorry… couldn’t resist… again)!


This is the end of your non-celebrity endorsed PSA.

Keep smiling… or not!


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