Non-Celebrity Endorsed PSA

Just an average Josie-Shmosie here with no money to make and an unrecognizable face…

Twenty-two months ago I found 2 lumps while doing a routine breast self exam. This led me down a road that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. After a course of 3 different kinds of chemotherapy (with one affectionately dubbed the ‘Red Devil’), genetic testing, a modified radical mastectomy, the bodily rejection of a breast reconstruction expander, and 30 treatments of radiation, I thought I was on my way to entering the ‘rat race’ of life again!

Little did I know that insurance red tape would allow me to receive another mastectomy instead of a breast reduction and put me on the path of a colonoscopy because of a genetic mutation for colon cancer found during my genetic testing.

Colonoscopies are not pleasant to think about. To be the patient of a colonoscopy is probably about as much fun as being the administering doctor of a colonoscopy… I was especially blessed to receive a double procedure this week! Not only did a camera enter my bum-de-bum (that would be the place where the sun doesn’t shine), but a camera also entered my yapper (that would be my mouth – the sun shines there). Truly, the colonoscopy and endoscopy were nothing to write home about. The preparation for the procedure, well, let’s just say that hungry, cranky, and angry make a person cranktoriously hangry and very tired. Don’t plan on going ANYWHERE during the prep cycle…

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The end results… sorry couldn’t resist… are knowledge!

Because when the doctor tells you that he removed a 2 centimeter polyp and will send it away for testing. That’s a good thing! And when the same doctor, who told you the results would be back in 1 to 2 weeks, calls you the very next day and tells you that the polyp they removed was precancerous. That’s a good thing! And when the same doctor tells that you will be cranktoriously hangry again in 6 months for another bum-de-bum close-up and then again every 2 years for the rest of your life.  That is a good thing!

Because being able to proactively have a chance to fight colorectal cancer is a good thing!

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I would have never had the colonoscopy if it hadn’t been for the genetic mutation found during the genetic testing for my breast cancer that I found through a self exam.

So the moral of this story is:

Do your monthly breast self exams!

Talk with your doctor about your family history.

Genetic testing can be a good thing!

Mammograms are not the devil’s brother or sister.

Colonoscopies can make a HUGE difference in the end (uh, sorry… couldn’t resist… again)!

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This is the end of your non-celebrity endorsed PSA.

Keep smiling… or not!

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